Farewell to qualms – Or how beggars can be choosers

Forget about the blue-eyed boys or boss’s pets. Or people who network better than you, look smarter than you, or have superior social skills. What I have seen is that most of the times we fare worse than some of our peers who are more or less in the same boat as us.

We start off at the same rung in the corporate ladder, make similar moves, are butt of miming in office parties, and are always the last ones to be picked up in any offsite team tasks. Yet we see the guy on the right side of the bell-curve in increments, though bunged in the same executive band. He may share the same designation as us, but his perks are always a tad bit higher than ours.

I couldn’t fathom the reason-why till a while ago. Now I am an enlightened soul. Here’s why.

Once when Mulla Nasruddin emerged from the mosque after prayers, he tumbled upon a beggar sitting on the steps soliciting alms. The beggar looked supremely overconfident with an air of superiority bordering on insolence about him. He neither lifted his begging bowl, nor thrust forth an upturned palm. He merely glanced at MN and turned his eyes studying his bowl. He seemed well fed and as far as the eye could make out was pleasantly clothed.

MN’s curiosity was tickled and he proceeded to hold the following conversation with him:

MN: Are you extravagant?

Supremely overconfident beggar (SOB): Yes, MN

MN: Do you like sitting around drinking coffee and smoking?

SOB: Yes, frequently.

MN: I suppose you like to spend on pampering yourself with regular baths, maybe amuse yourself, even, by drinking with friends.

SOB: Yes I like all those things.

MN reached into his pocket, fished out a gold coin and dropping it carefully in the SOB’s bowl moved on, his pious deed for the day done.

A few steps further down, he practically stumbled on another mendicant, flea-infested one with disheveled hair, a personification of meek dejection and abject surrender. What a study in contrast!

A similar but substantively different conversation followed between the two.

Study in contrast (SIC): “Good day to you sir, may god shower his blessings from heaven unto you and may you and your family prosper for generations to come”.

MN: Are you extravagant?

SIC: No, sir

MN: Do you like sitting around drinking coffee and smoking?

SIC: No, Sir, I have no such vices.

MN: I suppose you like to spend on pampering yourself with regular baths, maybe amuse yourself, even, by drinking with friends.

SIC: No, Sir, I want to only live meagerly and to pray and lead a life of piety.

MN tossed a small copper coin into the largely empty bowl of the SIC.

“But why”, wailed the pitiful soul, “do you give me, an economical and pious man, a penny, when you give that extravagant fellow a sovereign?”

“Ah my friend”, replied MN, “his needs are greater than yours”.

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I don’t know what you gathered from the story, but it sure did open my eyes.

Stock phrases like “Job satisfaction, challenges, learning opportunities, great organization, and terrific boss” will push one into the realms of pious and economical living.

Anybody who has it in them to dole out largesse, and hear those coming from you will see your needs as basic in nature. A mere sustenance pay-package should do the trick for you, they infer to your detriment.

On the other hand, if you look, act and spend like a million bucks, then its incumbent upon the donor to help you keep up with your lifestyle. Even more so, if the donor himself is into such extravagant lifestyle, he knows better than to deprive you of such essentials in life.

Now that the realization has dawned upon me, I am saving every bit of copper that comes my way to be able to afford a good barber’s service, a refreshing bath and a hearty meal. For, now that I know what it takes, I am determined to live life king-size and choose the denomination that comes my way.

So here’s to a new beg-inning.

More is less – Over communicating in Japan

The writing is on the wall. On the floor. On the pillar. Hanging overhead. And then there were arrows to point the way. Long (165 meters) and broad (1 foot). Color-coded. 7 pointers within 10 feet of each other. All directing me to Mita line platform.

Signage at Jimbocho Station

None barring me bothered to look at these signs. They didn’t have to as it is the only corridor that leads to the platform.

Later in the evening when I met Shimada-san, that venerable veteran of bar banter; I mentioned what I saw in passing.

“Happy hours make me sick and sad”, he said, drawing deep from the chilled draught placed in front of him. Sometimes, when sober, he is tangential.

I knitted my brow and looked at him enquiringly while wiping the froth off my upper lip. “Sick I understand; by overreaching ourselves during the short and merry window the happy hours offer us. But, sad!?”

“You miss my point. Count the number of Happy Hour mentions in this establishment” said Shimada-san.

My eyes swept the establishment, all 10X10 of it. “Six” I said. “Nine”, he shot back. “You left the two placed at the entrance and the one in the restroom”. “And I will tell you why I am unhappy”, he continued in the same breath.

“I don’t need to be told 9 times when the happy hours are. More importantly I don’t want to be reminded that they are going to end. It is not only insulting to my intelligence but also being insensitive to my feelings.”

“Mmm.. you have got a point there”, I conceded.

A typical crossing with pedestrian and cyclist stop signs

“Ofcourse I do! And it is not just the happy hours that I am miffed with. Every waking hour of my existence, I am bombarded with such inanity across every walk of life. Speaking of walk, see this”. He thrust his smart phone in my face and showed a snap. “Every 20 meters you have a crossing, whether on the main road or the by-lanes. And at every crossing you have a stop sign for the pedestrian and the cyclist; and as many as there are the paths branching out from there. There are a zillion announcements at sub-way stations, in trains, in buses, on where to sit, when to get up, which side to get off, what to watch out for…” He paused to take a big swig.

“May be they are trying to be helpful? Or considerate about those that cannot help themselves and need?” I proffered an explanation.

““I thought about it many times, including the platform signs you mentioned; but couldn’t fathom what the reasons are. At best it is what you said; but I think they are plain saving their…skin. Sort of “we told you so many times” in case something untoward happens. This way the responsibility is not theirs anymore”, Shimada-san sputtered. “Still, it is not the government/quasi-government/utility companies that I am most shaken by. It is when I see ads that start resembling a tin of sardines split wide open or a webpage that looks like a much stirred colony of ants”

No-smoking floor stickers – 1 each for people walking in opp. direction

Raising the fourth pint to his quivering lips, with a tinge of sadness he added “Japan is known for high context culture where amongst other things the communication is seen as an art form – a way of engaging someone and where the message is indirect (as opposed to that of a low context – where the message is direct & things are spelt out exactly the way they should be followed)” And it is sad to see, most communication experts ignoring that aspect and continuing with their peripheral observations with little or no empirical evidence that shows one needs to be spoon-fed.”

The happy hours are nearing an end, and the conversation has taken a slightly somber note. “This is serious”, I interjected, knowing not what else to say in the face of such impenetrable verbiage.

“”Japanese want more information compared to other countries” they say” continued Shimada-san, as if speaking to himself. “And add:

* people will not take the next step until everything is clarified

* they lack confidence and need clear instructions before they can act”

“I don’t think so, and I can’t say what else either. But my gut-feel is that the over abundant communication hits a blind spot amongst a good many who know what they need to do and carry on with not even a fleeting glance. And a few others, like me, notice such over-abundance and feel annoyed, as I see it as an affront to my intelligence. Not good”

Those two words sounded more ominous than the bell that rang, heralding the end of happy hours.

(First published in my blog “Jottings from Japan” in http://blog.campaignasia.com/author/arun-vemuri/ on 25th June 2011)

Of cabbage salad and the importance of attention to detail

Friday nights are usually the most educating and illuminating times in Tokyo, for people keen on developing their cultural understanding. After stoically and methodically dispensing off with one’s duties through the whole working week (Japanese are the world’s hardest working with only 33% of employees availing all their allotted paid holidays – Ipsos/Reuters survey) most people put their briefcases down and have a good go at the Izakayas or (m)any such watering holes dotting the landscape in and around work places. Wisdom flows and no premium does justification to the wealth of information or insights one can be privy to, while partaking in such cheerful classrooms.

I was privileged to be part of one such session not so long ago. Over the usual cries of Campai, conversation meandered from the sublime (What is Hair Make? Why do most of the hair salons have that in their boards?) to the mundane (What could Japan do to boost its economy? Does closing Pachinko parlors for few hours/days every week do the trick?). Along the way, as is the wont during bacchanalias, the topic of food cropped up.

For starters, a minor difference of opinion amongst those present regarding the pre-eminence of Tokyo as the world’s gastronomical capital was settled quickly by bringing few facts to the table:

Quantity – Tokyo is home to over 160,000 restaurants
Quality – Most number of Michelin stars awarded. 197 to Tokyo compared to 96 for Paris and 56 for NY

Served next was the choice of places to eat. Given that most of us are salaried persons, Michelin ratings definitely acts as a good filter on deciding which choices we could steer clear of, if only to save the burden of a tidy bill on a tiny pocket. Names of eateries were tossed in and their menus and relative merits were being discussed at length and in juicy details. Shimada-san, sipping on his Shochu silently till then, stepped into the discussion and announced in a deadpan voice “Before you decide, look at the cabbage salad”.

Shorn of bells and whistles, this is what he said – “A place which takes lot of care to choose, chop and serve the salad well is the one which will ensure there is top-notch taste in every dish that it prepares, presents and places in front of you. At places that do not take pride in what is served on the side, quality is a matter of chance. They may get it right few times, but that is not by design.”

That was something to chew on. This same philosophy attention to detail in every facet of work, which otherwise get relegated to the back-burner in the typical 80:20 world, is what sets Japanese goods and services apart. Kaizen may be well known on the manufacturing side, but beyond that in every walk of life and everyday work, presenting things with every chink ironed out is so integral that it takes a while for a person from an alien culture to appreciate the seemingly undue emphasis that countrymen, clients and colleagues place on being prim and proper. Once you start understanding that, you will savor doing business in this part of the world. That, to me, is some food for thought.

(First published in my blog “Jottings from Japan” in http://blog.campaignasia.com/author/arun-vemuri/ in March 2011)

Letter from Excelsior Garden – Hard times over Japan

(Below is the response from Akaishi-san, my landlord/guardian angel/friend/philosopher/guide in Tokyo, to a well-wisher who asked him to move out of Japan for a while. This is one of the most moving pieces that I have ever read, more so for its matter-of-fact tone; that characterizes how most Japanese responded to the unprecedented triple tragedy that befell this exceptional country and its people, in living history)

Dear

Thank you very much your kind suggestion to evacuate our selves to France .

But thanks to your praying Gods and Kamisama to protect us,we are so far well protected from so called Radiation fears caused by the Nuclaer plants in Northern part of Japan.

So far there is no Victim nor sufferer from Radiation is reported

At present japanese emergency workers are trying to cool overheating reactors in many ways and also many people are trying hard to supply food ,water ,electric power ,clothes and daily items to those sufferer as much as possible.

U.S.Government recommend that U.S. citizens within 80 kilometer of the plant leave the area to a safer place or heaven in Asia.

We are staying in Tokyo,which locates about 250 kilometer south from Fukishima Nuclear plant. So we are enough away from Nuclear plants at this moment.And also our Himonya area is given special favour to be out of Electric power rotation area.

We ,Naoko and I, are thinking that we must behave ourselves just like a captain of Titanic Ship which sunk to the depths of sea near the South pole many years ago. Because we are in a same position to leave our ship last like a captain of Titanic Ship in case of danger. Until we are sure to believe that all of our children , residents of Excelsior garden and local people are all safe,we cannnot leave Tokyo.

We wish we can keep our patience and order in good condition.

We hope every thing will be settled soon in good order.

Thanking your kind and warm attention and offer to us,

A long week gone by, a long road ahead

• 9.0 Earthquake, 4th largest ever and the largest the country has faced in recorded history
• 30 feet high Tsunami, swept 6 miles inland with washed up debris and water reaching 10 miles
• 401 after shocks felt till 14th March (Scientific American Journal; www.tenki.jp/earthquake) and still counting
• Over 18,000 people dead or unaccounted for
• 4 out of 6 reactors operating at Fukushima Daiichi Nuclear Power Station, have suffered damage to their cooling facilities after the tsunami increasing radiation levels, posing hazard to people within 30 Km radius
• Loss of US$120 – 175 billion that is directly attributable to the disastrous aftermath and possibly even more in terms of economic contraction over the next few years & huge costs for rebuilding the nation

The last week has been unprecedented for Japan, with the twin natural disasters and the subsequent (and still continuing) uncertainty over the possible fallout of the mishap at the nuclear plant.

Things seem to be safe for now, in Tokyo, though people are understandably tense. For most of my Japanese friends (and I believe the same applies for large part of the citizens here), their worry and focus is more about the Northern part of the country, which has suffered earthquake, tsunami, seemingly dwindling supplies of food/medicine/fuel and now the clear and present threat of nuclear radiation!

In the face of that, people of Tokyo and other relatively safer parts of the country have taken to both voluntary and government announced power-cuts, restricted food and fuel supply in their stride. Except for a day or two; life is going on in a normal fashion – Kids are out playing in parks, or cycling around; offices are functioning either fully or partially – with working from home being made an option; public transportation is not effected adversely; shelves in supermarkets once again stocked fully. It is hard to imagine, strolling around Tokyo to feel that we are in the midst of a still unfolding and biggest tragedies of our lifetime.

Dignity, discipline and determination define the way the Japanese are handling the situation at hand.

It is understandable from the perspective of people who are leaving/want to leave/moving further South – especially those families with kids. Everyone makes their own decisions, processing the information that they have access to, understanding the implications of the same the way they can; and doing it at what they deem is the most opportune moment. But most of my friends that I have spoken with have not even remotely entertained that thought of moving away from where they are. In fact, a lot of them are ready to move closer to the area devastated; awaiting their turn and the call from the government as and when to chip in.
Meanwhile what they are ensuring in the interim is – constructive contribution, not triggering panic, not adding to excitement levels, not harping on issues which will take away the focus from sensibility to sensationalism, or reduce the gravity of situation. In short, leading a normal day of their life.

It is a long and arduous road ahead, but that doesn’t seem to be the concern now. “Focus on present, resolve crisis, step by step. The future will take care of itself”. That is what my Japanese friends are doing right now.

Ganbare Nippon

Richter by the experience of 8.9 and still counting the blessings

(Thanks all for the well wishes and thoughts.The scribbling below is my way of saluting the spirit of Japanese, which kept self and family retain our sanity and some of our humor, caught as such in the midst of this mega tragedy)

The earthquake was bad (8.9 that lasted for over 3 minutes; even the aftershocks were many and over 7); but the people, place, processes and technology were prepared to take it on and not buckle under (however unprecedented this particular one is). Amazed to see how almost everyone was calm, going about in an orderly manner while evacuating and taking the whole experience in their stride.

Daughter was in her piano class, her teacher held her tight while she continued playing (ironically – ‘Row row row the boat, gently down the stream’).

Most soothing and reassuring were our owners – who called Neeraja and Hema down for tea and cake, saying ‘its ok, relax, stay indoors, the house is well built and protected’.

All this while I was having a swinging time 30 floors above in Ybesiu Garden Place Tower, with my colleagues – whose smiles i returned for the first 1 minute (used to the experience, knowing that the building was one of the safest in Tokyo); and then was one of the first to dive and duck promptly under my desk – knowing it cdnt be business as usual. From swinging, the building now swayed and shook wildly, I dialed Neeraja to check their whereabouts then switched off to save them from hearing the screams and such in the background.

After what seemed like an eternity and apocalypse – seeing comps strewn, desks swept clean, printers toppled and presentations mixed up; the seasoned heads suggested we march down 30 floors – alternatives for me being waiting to be airlifted or the floor to acquire the properties of an elevator with no stops in between straight to the terr(or)firma.

Keeping a smiling face, stopping politely every two flights down to wait for few people who were climbing up clutching their laptops to complete the remaining stuff to be sent across to clients isn’t an easy task but it was done and all the 30 floor down. No rushing of feet, or stomping of ground, no racing through or overtaking, just good old saunter down as if going down for a quick steaming cup of coffee. Mine, I guess, was the only voice – making wise-cracks about going for earth-cake; or getting Richter by selling my first-hand experience to some gullible publisher..and the likes; more to mask the ffffffffing shhhhh**** scared b(l)eating heart with-in.

Outside everyone was gathered in groups looking up at the still swaying building, posing for pictures (the all recognisable V-sign flashing, signaling the Kawaii (Cute)-ness of the situation and that everything is Genki (Well)). After a 30 minute exchange of notes, and cracks on situation and frustration over not able to reach loved ones over the airwaves, I headed home while some of my inimitable colleagues prepared for the 30 flight climb up, to tie-up loose ends on the JTBD (Jobs to be done)

Phones didn’t work, a small glitch in an otherwise extra-ordinarily efficient disaster management system. Had to work for a while with no taxis stopping, apparently another part of the drill, to keep the streets/roads clear for fire engines, ambulances, police cars and buses (which didn’t charge) to ferry people home. I took one, reached home; slightly assured that the family is safe (net worked (and how), checked neeraja:s message on facebook) and fearing the worst for the precious possessions (TV, Ipod, Tolly/Kolly/Bolly/Holly DVDs (in that order)).

And what a sight, when I reached the building!

Owner (Akaishi-san) opened the door, smiled benevolently in his typical fatherly manner; bowed politely and said, ‘come come come, the tea is hot; and we have got cakes from Holland, which you will like. Hema chan likes them very much’). Inside the only sign of all the drama outside (which was still unfolding as we did not yet hear about Sendai and the second disaster (not) waiting to hit Japan), was the swinging chandelier, and the excited and reassuring voices of wife and daughter chattering first to Mrs. Akaishi-san and then, rushing to me and rattling off their adventures on the day, which will forever be etched in our memories afresh – Both for:

- the zen like demeanor of Japanese amidst such a huge disaster (However the Tsunami was one that no one could prepare for – 10 meters high traveling over 500 miles an hour stretching over 10s of kilometers; and that is a real tragedy of epic proportions – destruction and consequences of which are yet to be realised); and
- the realisation that if at all there is a place on earth that I want to be with my family and friends (current and extended), when (god forbid) such a disaster ever struck again; then it is this country Japan.

Back in our home, one flight up from the blissful state of tea sipping and cake chomping; save a few books that fell off the shelves, and few photos that fell off their perch, things haven’t traded places and life returned to normalcy. We all said our respective prayers – Neeraja went to make coffee, Hema tugging at my sleeve asking me to recount for the 1000th time – some story about an unbearably cute blue train called Thomas; me counting my blessings and reaching out for the remote.

6 months. 3 bullet points. 1 expat’s survival kit.

It has been 6 months since I have come to the land of rising sun, and by all stats and signs of it, that of shrinking opportunities. Yet, all is not lost in this 3^rd largest economy in the world. There is still a long way to go before it hurtles down the doomsday path that many are predicting; and there still is hope of it reversing the trend.

Amidst all the chaos of settling in, figuring out, wandering about and the likes in a new country – here’s what I learnt in conversations with some interesting people, observed under the influence of beer on tap, and generally gleaned by various other means (http://ivak99.wordpress.com/2010/09/29/five-things-to-know-when-marketing-to-an-alien-culture/); to survive in a country like Japan that is as interesting as it is challenging.

• Find a niche: Don’t’ bite more than u can chew. Don’t even bite what u can chew. Just nibble. (This, incidentally, is just about the size of portion you get in most restaurants.) This is a country of monoliths and oligarchy. Of real big players and of scale and size so enormous, it’s indeed daunting.Yet, if you are able to find your groove, which plays to your strengths don’t hesitate to pursue it, however small the opportunity appears to be and continues to be.
  

   

• Stay under the radar: Deru kugi wa utareru or literally “The nail that sticks out gets hammered down” is a Japanese proverb. It pays to not be seen going hammer and tongs about your achievements or raising the profile of the niche that you have successfully and arduously built. The society respects and rewards those who work and let the work speak for itself.

   

• Have big ears and a small mouth: It is easy to succumb to the temptation of blowing one’s own trumpet. Or dishing advice (I am hoping that writing blogs doesn’t get counted in that). Or shooting one’s mouth off. Or all. What we may feel as reassurance (by touting our achievements) can be seen as expediency. And that will shut people out. And close a lot of doors. One is well advised to listen more often and intently for there is a lot of wisdom going around.

You will be surprised to see, how much easier life will become contrary to what you may have heard, if you start following in your own way, the above.

Nihongo Wa Ganbatte Kudasai 

2010 in review

The stats helper monkeys at WordPress.com mulled over how this blog did in 2010, and here’s a high level summary of its overall blog health:

The Blog-Health-o-Meter™ reads Wow.

Crunchy numbers

A helper monkey made this abstract painting, inspired by your stats.

A Boeing 747-400 passenger jet can hold 416 passengers. This blog was viewed about 8,500 times in 2010. That’s about 20 full 747s.

In 2010, there were 14 new posts, growing the total archive of this blog to 33 posts.

The busiest day of the year was May 4th with 326 views. The most popular post that day was What is your favorite quote? And why?.

Thank you all for making it happen!

Attractions in 2010

These are the posts and pages that got the most views in 2010.

1

What is your favorite quote? And why? May 2010
26 comments

2

Negotiating a better deal – How the donkey got more than it’s due March 2010
17 comments

3

Mantra to fare well in your career – Bless those bounders that hound you out January 2010
33 comments

4

Art of making impactful Elevator Speech – Wise minister learns the hard way March 2010
13 comments

5

Farewell to qualms – Or how beggars can be choosers March 2010
27 comments

Five things to know when marketing to an ALIEN Culture

When I first landed in Japan, I was stumped (and not too mildly amused) by the term “Alien registration”. This greets the serpentine queue made up of people of different nationalities, races, gender, ages, creed and color (with the possible exception of Green, which the word Alien typically conjures up), at the immigration counters. And a good proportion of the people making up the queue are of Japanese origin.

As an expat/alien trying to market/communicate multiple propositions to a culture that is completely different to what I grew up with; that opened up a commonsensical line of thought.

Alien is not necessarily a group/tribe that is completely different from me. It could even be a sub-group of an otherwise similar group to which I belong. I am an Indian male and married, but an Indian senior citizen or a single mom in India is an alien culture to me. So to understand them and to communicate with them (or any other group that i don’t belong to), is as good as dealing with an “Alien Culture”.

Drawing parallels to my attempts at navigating the exciting culture and place that Japan is; these are the five things that i found handy as an everyday marketer to alien cultures:

Atlas: It becomes easier to get around a place, if you have an atlas (Tokyo Atlas is my constant companion) handy. In marketing/communication parley it can be any of the information sources – books, blogs, websites, newspaper articles, special interest magazines, researches, sociology studies, fiction, movies, music, etc. – created about or by or for the “alien cultures” you are trying to market. These pieces bring in the various coordinates that help you with the lay of the land. Just like the Atlas which helps you navigate from point A to point B; these information sources facilitate your journey of understanding from one point to another.

Language: ASK (Arigato, Sumimasen, Konnichiwa) and you shall get attention, is what I realized on the first day in my new homeland. Having access to a well laid atlas alone doesn’t suffice. To connect well, you need to have an understanding of the language or “lingo” of the alien culture. Their terminology, catch-phrases, signs, icons – both verbal and non-verbal; give you a grip of the culture group’s workings and help you understand them better.

Interpreter: An interpreter gives you a context to the goings on; and helps you with the sub-text and subtleties of the happenings and argot of the sub-group. They help you with the reason-whys and also nuggets and nuances that will otherwise take years of arduous exploration to uncover. Find one, they could be the equivalent of a friendly bartender, and your journey to unlocking the alien culture’s hearts and minds is 2/3rds complete.

Experimentation: With all the above at your disposal, you may still not be able to break new-ground unless there is a streak of experimentation in you. One needs to go out and explore, than be confined to the desk or dwelling (of the mind variety). Go out. Do stuff. Never lose an opportunity to experience things that are specific to the alien culture. Watch a game of baseball, if your creaky and ageing bones won’t allow you to swing a bat. Lose a few thousand yen in a Pachinko Slot. Feel what it makes them tick.

Nativity: Never lose the essence of who you are, in your eagerness to become one of “them”. I can never be Japanese by wearing a samurai dress or an American by changing my accent. Give them a break and yourself some respectability. The very reason you are given an opportunity to work across borders (not necessarily geographic) is that you will bring perspective and understandings from your own background or culture group; that will prove synergistic.

First published in CampaignAsia on September 14th, in an abridged form

What is your favorite quote? And why?

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Click to Download the Free E-book

A seed of inspiration sown nearly 6 months ago, became a fully blossomed talking tree; with over 3200+ inspirational quotes contributed by diverse individuals from across the globe. It has been my earnest endeavor for nearly 2 months to pick nearly 500 contributions, both quotes and perspectives, to bring to you this bouquet of which I take immense pleasure and pride. The reason for it, in my point of view, is not difficult to seek.

When faced with difficult questions or challenging situations in life like “Where to go?”, “What to do”? “Which path to take?”, “Whether to end it all?” and such; I must admit that I did not have the desired success in silent reflections. I always paused to introspect, yes, but ultimately took recourse to a wise-saying, a quote or an anecdote to pick-me up and help me stay on course.

The questions eventually begin to fade and the path one chooses and the journey one embarks upon takes over and becomes life.

There is a tremendous sense of relief and a surge of elation that an appropriate quote brought to one’s mental state while facing despair or doom, which cannot be expressed in words; no amount of gratitude will pay back in kind, expect heading resolutely in the direction, the wise men who gave those quotes have pointed out.

I strongly believe, this compilation is going to impact lives positively across the globe, as they did when they touched our lives. I sincerely urge, each and every one of you, who have had the opportunity to go through this, to pass it on to your family, friends, colleagues, acquaintances. There can be no better gift that we can bestow on them than that brings in a smile, instills confidence, gives impetus to their efforts or helps them turn a new leaf for better.

For each and every contribution in your hand is nothing short of an elixir. And no road-map works better.

Download the free E-book from Scribd – Preferred

If you are not able to download the same, due to firewall or any such technical issues; do write me a mail at ivak99@gmail.com asking for your copy of the ebook.

Making of a mentor 2 – If Summers is here can winter be far behind?

(This is the 2^nd article in the series, “Making of a mentor” where we are trying to figure out what it takes to be one, for our collective benefit. By “we”(and “us” and “our” which follow in the body later), I meant the not-so-successful-yet, middle-aged, PowerPoint-adept dwellers of the cubicles. Rest can read it as a source of amusement, or for future reference; but for us it is the only sliver of hope. For, mentorship is our ticket to rewards and recognition, which we otherwise couldn’t achieve on our own steam. It is our first, last and only refuge to retire honorably – with a farewell party thrown-in)

This is that time of the year, when many an organization has an air of expectation hanging heavily about it. Soon the cafeteria will be teeming with a swarm of pugnacious, smarter-than-thou, rag-tag coalition of rambunctious kids, half-way through their business management program (I too was one of them a long time ago; but now I have no recollection of what I came across as then).

Few of the lucky peers already know who they have drawn from the lots and strut about with a spring in their step whilst whistling a romantic number or fast-paced track from a recent blockbuster. A handful of us have a worn-down look about us, which is a shade or two lower than our usual worn-down look signaling our pathetic state of affairs.

The Summers (or Internship Program or Summer Placement) is here and the mercury has considerably dropped between those who were assigned one or two bright young minds to take care of the critical projects and others like us who have to babysit, play scrabble with or spend better part of our time Googling frantically the latest management mumbo-jumbo these kids keep spewing out.

“What’s the big deal”? You may query. Let me explain.

The mantle of mentorship doesn’t fall into our lap by default. Most of the organizations have in place a sickeningly well designed and elaborate Mentorship Program just to keep desperate wolves like us at bay. First we have to pass the litmus test of “past track record”. Next comes the “Well defined characteristics of a mentor” and our inadequacies are listed there with a few smileys scribbled against each by a scurrilous young HR executive.

The Summers program is one of the first hurdles placed in our path to becoming a mentor. The outcome of it gets into the “Past Track Record”. The feedback from those difficult and disgusting demons which besmirches your “Characteristics of a Mentor” can seal your fate for good. The organization may as well stamp “Monumental Failure and Not Fit 2BA Mentor” in our “Additional Remarks and Recommendations” section in the appraisal form.

A right summer trainee is the only independent variable in the equation that brings the bacon home for an aspiring mentor. He works as a booster rocket for the mentor’s prospects.

But then only successful executives have the enviable option of cherry picking hot candidates amongst the hordes of mentees clamoring for a guiding hand. Few of the wily peers who share juicy grapevine and salacious tidbits with HR too have potential winners served in a fancy e-mail and delivered to their desktop. For the rest of us quantity trumps quality.

Most of us have been at the receiving end once too often and have been assigned a platoon of poltergeists to chaperon. We are not sure whether:

• to assign them a project and go about doing our work – Once you turn your back they are sticking straws in your hair Or
• be at their back all the while to ensure they don’t go off your radar – Then deadlines whizz past you and the boss is giving you the mickey in the open.

We are at our wit’s end trying to figure out how to handle them, without losing our sanity and honor or scuttle our chances of becoming a mentor later. Worry no more, friends, for deliverance is at hand. The following story should sure warm your cockles

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One day an Ignoramus saw Mullah Nasruddin (MN) riding a donkey, seated with his back to the ass’s head. While seated thus MN was reciting amusing tales to a boisterous boy brigade that was following him. Once in a while he would throw a riddle at them and come up with a couple of copper coins or a handful of dates from his shoulder bags, which he passed on to the kids.

It provided much amusement to the onlookers and was truly a mirth eliciting sight to behold. MN seemed to be oblivious to the merry repartees and snide remarks aimed at him and carried on with his task of herding the brood.

The Ignoramus was perplexed and asked MN why he was riding the donkey such

MN: “I am leading these mischievous and maturity-challenged lads to their destination. This way I can keep an eye on them all the way and ensure they stay the course.”

Ignoramus: “Why not ask them to walk in front of you?”

MN (with admonition and incredulity mixed tone): “How can you be so absurd!? I am their Leader”

Ignoramus: So?

MN: “How can a leader follow his followers?!”

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Now I am looking for the equivalent of a donkey – a short time-bound project which amuses the ragtag and holds their attention while giving them enough ammunition to fill their summer report. Hopefully for all the relief and amusement it provides them, I may end up with a good score this time in the feedback and be well and truly on the path to becoming a mentor.

I am sure henceforth the Summers won’t lead to a winter of disappointment!